Have you reached that phase in your life where you have to make a reaaaaaaaaaally important decision at a very crucial moment that will determine how your future is going to look like, but you're torn in between, feeling clueless, hopeless and confused?
I had.
But I've gone through it. Wait no, I thought that I've made my way through all those thorns and vines, having suffered all the pain. But yet, I'm still lost in the middle of nowhere. Being engulfed by confusion and.....depression.
As Muslims, we all know that when it comes to making choices, we've got to perform Istikharah. With the utmost humbleness as a mere servant, I knelt upon Him and begged for guidance. One day I woke up, and everything was crystal clear. I was so relieved that I finally managed to escape from this dilemma which had been haunting me day and night.
But then something came up.
My heart wavered.....again.
Sometimes I feel like I'm only here to please others. I always feel obliged to do things that I didn't even really want to, but for the sake of other people I still did it. I'm too used to having others deciding things for me that I've come to that point where I don't even know what I want anymore.
Tapi saya rasa lebih baik buat sesuatu yang menggembirakan semua orang walaupun hati kita tak senang, daripada buat sesuatu yang kita suka tapi menyusahkan ramai orang. Lagipun, buat apa nak kejar perkara yang belum pasti kesahihannya sedangkan perkara yang telah pun terzahir kebaikannya ada di depan mata kita?
And I'm glad I have someone like you to turn to when I'm facing these kind of situations. Even though what you write always make me cry buckets. Thanks hermanita :')
History is repeating.
Truthfully,
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